12-09-04

Conversation Patterns

We all have different styles of talking. Our own style depend on various things like our social background, age, education, where we come and of course gender. Men and women have different styles of communicating. We all have varying degrees of masculinity or feminity in our speech, but there is a clear distiction of stlyes of communication betwwen men and women.
 
The binary oppositions characterizing women and men's different styles of talk:
                 WOMEN                                          MEN
                Sympathy                                  Problem-solving
                  Rapport                                          Report
                 Listening                                       Lecturing
                  Private                                            Public  
                                                       Connection                                       Status
                                                       Supportive                                     Oppositional
                                                         Intimacy                                     Independence
 
Women's speech is seen to be nurturing , whereas men's speech is associated with reason, power and priviledge. For most women conversations are about rapport. They are about establishing friendship, consolidating relationships.Interaction is non-hierarchical, they are striving for solidarity.
Most men often seek straightforward solutions to problems and useful advice, whereas women tend to try and establish intimacy by discussing problems and showing concern and empathy in order to reinforce relationships. Men tend to use conversations as arenas for negotiating and maintaining status, so they tend to involve exhibitions of knowledge and skill, performances intended to get attention. Men are focused on report rather than rapport. Conversations are about imparting information, talking for a purpose, demonstrating expertise.
 
Men also curse and swear much more than women. A man will say,  "Oh shit! I forgot to pick up the clothes from the dry cleaners", whereas a woman will say, "Oh dear! I forgot to pick up the clothes from the dry cleaners." Men speak in a louder voice, they use loudness to emphasize points, they sound more monotonous in speech. They use approximately 3 tones when talking, they interrupt others more and allow fewer interruptions, they ask fewer questions to stimulate conversation, they make more declarative statements. Women use pitch and inflection to emphasize points. They sound more emotional in speech. They use approximately 5 tones when talking, they interrupt others less and allow more interruptions, they make more tentative statements and use "tag endings" or upward inflections which make statements sound like questions (eg. It's a nice day, isn't it?), and they ask more questions to stimulate conversations.
 
The body language is also different between men and women. Men take up more physical space when sitting or standing, with arms and legs stretched out away from their body, they gesture away from the body, they assume more reclined positions when sitting and lean backward when listening. Whereas women, they take up less physical space, sitting with arms and legs toward their body, they gesture toward the body, they assume more forward positions when sitting and lean forward when listening. Men tend to cock their head to the side and look at the other person from an angle when listening, they provide fewer facial expressions in feedback and fewer reactions, and they tend to display frowning and squinting when listening. Women tend to look at the other person directly facing them with their head and eyes facing forward when listening. They provide more facial expressions and more reactions, and they display smiling and head-nodding when listening. Men are more apt to yell, shout and swear to release anger. Women are more apt to cry to release anger!

Reference: He Says, She Says: Closing the Communication Gap Between the Sexes by Dr. Lillian Glass.
Painting: The Big Tease by Jack Vettriano.

20:56 Gepost door Birdie | Permalink | Commentaren (0) |  Facebook |

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